7 Unrealistic Expectations That Ruin First Dates (for Women and Men!)

First dates can be a rollercoaster of nerves and excitement, but bringing the wrong expectations can turn that thrill into a mess. So, how about dropping those unrealistic assumptions about others and enjoying getting to know someone without pressure or disappointment? Flure is here with the 7 top common wrong expectations that have killed countless first dates.

Photo by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash

1. Expecting instant “spark.”
   Believing that an immediate, strong chemistry is essential can lead to disappointment. The real connection usually develops over time, so don’t dismiss someone just because there isn’t an immediate “spark.”
2. The relationship is unavoidable.
   Men and women alike approach first dates as something that — ideally — unfolds into a relationship. Flure calls this the biggest BS. Don’t worry: after this first date, you don’t have to see each other ever again unless you want it.
3. Sex is unavoidable
   Well, if you don’t feel like having sex with your first date, nobody will judge you. In fact, if you go on your first date, it’s perfectly healthy not to feel that overwhelming sexual desire. Give them a kiss on the cheek and thank them for your great time together.
4. Thinking it will be “perfect”
   Perfection is an unrealistic goal. Dates can be awkward or boring. Trying to be “perfect” and expecting the same from someone you meet for the first time in your life can prevent you from enjoying the natural flow of getting to know each other.
5. Assuming gender norms define behavior
   Expectations based on traditional gender roles, like who should pay or initiate conversation, often create unnecessary tension. Try to be natural and engage in a balanced, mutual exchange that feels comfortable for everyone.
6. Believing it’s all about impressing the other person
   Many people fall into the trap of thinking they need to put on a show to be liked. Instead, focus on being yourself and finding out if you both genuinely connect.
7. Expecting immediate clarity
   A clever system that tells you how long you can be together has yet to be designed. Your first date is just what it is—a first date. Try to enjoy it for what it is without instant compatibility predictions.

If these thoughts sound familiar, good for you! It takes people an eternity to figure out what they expect from their first dates. Letting go of these most common harmful assumptions can be very helpful! Don’t miss another second; dive into Flure to meet amazing and genuine people, and you’ll see that dates can be fun if you don’t expect too much from them! ;)